Incidental Contact
I hate telephones. I really hate cell phones. And I also have grown to despise blogs.
Now, I can explain why.
Ok, Ok, these wonders of technology are not the tools of the devil. I certainly do overstate my case very often. (It's called hyperbole, and it should be #14 on my list of improper online speech) I do have a telephone, a cell phone (it's prepaid), and a blog (duh). So it's not the tools themselves that I hate. It is the improper use of these tools that make me ill. Allow me to explain why these communication devices are pernicious influences on you and me.
When we use telephones, cell phones, and blogs, we are often using them to communicate with people we already know. These established relationships are maintained through the contact these tools provide. Phones and cell phones are great because they make "keeping in touch" more convenient. Cell phones make it ridiculously easy to call somebody literally anytime. They have a cell, you have a cell. You can call while standing in line, walking home from class, stuck in traffic, etc. And this is precisely where the problem begins.
On the one hand, all I need to do to talk to you is pull the phone out of my pocket. How nice. On the other had, all I need to do to talk to you is pull the phone out of my pocket. How incidental. I don't need to go out of my way to make contact. I don't need to set aside time out of my otherwise busy day. If you are not there, it's no big deal. If you don't call me back, I am not waiting by the phone anyway. I am just doing what I was already doing. Our personal contact was not anything important. It was merely incidental to who I am and what I am already doing.
I recently realized that blogs also make our online contact incidental to who we are as persons. Instead of actually going out of my way to contact you, to speak directly to you and hear from you in return, I can just blog whatever I am thinking about. If you happen to stumble across it, you and I renew our incidental relationship. I blog when I want, and you read when you want. Nothing essential to our lives is taking place here. It's all incidental.
Human beings are not things that have relationships. Humans are those relationships. We are defined by our human relationships. There is no "me" without my wife, mother and father, siblings, other family members, and friends, even colleagues. When we think there is a "me" that stands above these defining relationships, we are in for trouble. The last thing I need is encouragement to make contact with the people most important to me seem "incidental" to what "I" was doing. So, that is why I do not carry a cell phone.
What do I do now with this blog?
Now, I can explain why.
Ok, Ok, these wonders of technology are not the tools of the devil. I certainly do overstate my case very often. (It's called hyperbole, and it should be #14 on my list of improper online speech) I do have a telephone, a cell phone (it's prepaid), and a blog (duh). So it's not the tools themselves that I hate. It is the improper use of these tools that make me ill. Allow me to explain why these communication devices are pernicious influences on you and me.
When we use telephones, cell phones, and blogs, we are often using them to communicate with people we already know. These established relationships are maintained through the contact these tools provide. Phones and cell phones are great because they make "keeping in touch" more convenient. Cell phones make it ridiculously easy to call somebody literally anytime. They have a cell, you have a cell. You can call while standing in line, walking home from class, stuck in traffic, etc. And this is precisely where the problem begins.
On the one hand, all I need to do to talk to you is pull the phone out of my pocket. How nice. On the other had, all I need to do to talk to you is pull the phone out of my pocket. How incidental. I don't need to go out of my way to make contact. I don't need to set aside time out of my otherwise busy day. If you are not there, it's no big deal. If you don't call me back, I am not waiting by the phone anyway. I am just doing what I was already doing. Our personal contact was not anything important. It was merely incidental to who I am and what I am already doing.
I recently realized that blogs also make our online contact incidental to who we are as persons. Instead of actually going out of my way to contact you, to speak directly to you and hear from you in return, I can just blog whatever I am thinking about. If you happen to stumble across it, you and I renew our incidental relationship. I blog when I want, and you read when you want. Nothing essential to our lives is taking place here. It's all incidental.
Human beings are not things that have relationships. Humans are those relationships. We are defined by our human relationships. There is no "me" without my wife, mother and father, siblings, other family members, and friends, even colleagues. When we think there is a "me" that stands above these defining relationships, we are in for trouble. The last thing I need is encouragement to make contact with the people most important to me seem "incidental" to what "I" was doing. So, that is why I do not carry a cell phone.
What do I do now with this blog?
posted by matt at 7:46 PM
6 Comments:
An aside: Under the comment box it asks me to "choose an identity". Awesome.
Personal, one-on-one contact is in danger of essentially the same thing. I see people at church every sunday, for example, but I never reallly share in their lives and they never really share in mine. Thus, when I come to one of them with a genuine concern, it is often downplayed or brushed aside because I am not known to them and they to me. Physical conversations (by that I mean in person), can be trained by the cell-phone and blog conversations. For instance, I can be talking to someone as impersonally as I would had I called their cell. Or, perhaps, be a social butterfly and move from conversation to conversation - never really getting deep enough in the conversation to establish trust.
I'm beginning to chalk community up as one more unrepairably broken tragedy of humanity. Like the Bush administration (#8, zinga!).
I shall entitle you that which your heart seems to scream: You are "Matt the Blog Killer"
Lame suckerpunch at Bush. I'm sorry I wrote it for the simple fact that it was lame. It has been months since I've watched any TV, so my sense of humor is all but too dry.
I had one more thought on what you've posted here: What is your idea of a correct or healthy community? Is there any way that technology can at all help to build it? In other words, are we simply misusing the tools technology affords us or should we chunk them out the window altogether?
Stay away from screens. That's advice from Wendell Berry (advice which I admire but obviously do not keep). And if you haven't yet, I think you should read some Wendell Berry.
These are good observations... My first thought, while reading them though, is seriously--Take the cell phone, telephone, blog, and whatever else out of the picture... Aren't so many of our relationships simply incidental to what we're doing anyway? So you DON'T have those things--the people you speak to at work are simply cultivating the relationships you already have because you sit next to them in the cubicle or at the meeting... they haven't really gone out of their way to focus on you in that situation... I admit this is similar to what Clint pointed out as "Personal One-on-one Contact," or as I would put it, regular/everyday contact... And if you take that out, then what are you left with? There are differing levels of community involvement, and I'm not sure I can see this minimalist line of reasoning leading to any community at all.
I like that you point out that the problem is not in the devices themselves, but rather the improper use of these devices... however, the fact that you jump from hating the improper use straight to complete avoidance of leads me to believe that perhaps your distain is NOT merely for the improper use. I admit, there are a number of things that, because they pose some danger, it may be better to avoid completely. Yet, I think we may be leaving out the fact that these technologies all have different uses and as long as we are in control of our resources (rather than these technologies controlling us, as they seem to for so many) they could pose some very useful purpose. To once more echo the genius "Strong-of-Arm" above, What is your idea of healthy community, and is there any way that technology could aid in the encouragement of it?
I could add at least 5 more paragraphs (but wont....lucky you) about myspace/facebook to this ranting Matt. Though there is so much that I hate about it, I still continue have a profile, check it, upload my photos, and so on. It has a strange sort of appeal and one of those might be that the "incidental relationships" forged by the convenience of such web sites often create friendships and relationships with lasting and meaningful impact. Like a guy I was quasi-friends with in college who tracked me down years later and then ended up falling in love with one of my closest friends here and moving from Texas to Denver. Not so incidental of an encounter anymore is it?
Anyways, Matt you never comment on my blog anymore. What's up with that!?!
Post a Comment
<< Home